This morning I suffered an attack of conscience. When I attempt to trace my attitude back in this regard I see that a good deal of it had to do with distrust and revulsion at the present state of affairs. I keep trying to remind myself not to be passive before the present state of affairs. It's simple until the point that I retreat into role playing. I've attempted to play out whole epochs in short periods of time.
There are no excuses but to put your nose to the grindstone.