A Journal Discovered Among the Papers of Thomas Kjar  

Raging storm! It has not been this way for several years. Strange to see the little creek raging muddily between the shallow banks.

New perspectives- this is what I need- new perspectives- new directions- completion of the past- all of this. In some ways I am satisfied with what I've poured out of myself the past 10 years.

Keep looking outside yourself for some 'out' of this situation

Don't give up by all means- and recognize that before all this sedateness occurred it was wild and nearly crazy- don't forget that.

Now I remember that splendid period of time between my mid-20's and mid 30's when I pushed myself from the center in order to learn and absorb and experience and observe as much as possible while attempting to keep myself sane too. I see that coming to an end. They did not understand my sincerity or my fierce devotion. And, even after I returned and became successful, in the way they understand it, I have the greatest feeling for that period of time. A mythical time, belong to me and no one else.