Raging storm! It has not been this way for several years. Strange to see the little creek raging muddily between the shallow banks.
New perspectives- this is what I need- new perspectives- new directions- completion of the past- all of this. In some ways I am satisfied with what I've poured out of myself the past 10 years.
Keep looking outside yourself for some 'out' of this situation
Don't give up by all means- and recognize that before all this sedateness occurred it was wild and nearly crazy- don't forget that.
Now I remember that splendid period of time between my mid-20's and mid 30's when I pushed myself from the center in order to learn and absorb and experience and observe as much as possible while attempting to keep myself sane too. I see that coming to an end. They did not understand my sincerity or my fierce devotion. And, even after I returned and became successful, in the way they understand it, I have the greatest feeling for that period of time. A mythical time, belong to me and no one else.